February 19, 2020

A theory about the formula to a happy life, ( for some people, read DISCLAIMER) part 1#

(!!Disclaimer!! If you’re very insecure or suffer from depression, this might not be an article suited for you. This is my personal experience and a way I achieved a positive mind-set and happiness. Just want to put this out there since I’m not a cerified psychologist and I don’t want to make your situation worse. Even if it has the slightest chance, I don’t want to risk it. Enjoy!)

I know, it seems impossible, a formula for a happy life, isn’t that something we all try to achieve at some point in our life? Happiness, one of the abstract things in life.. you can be poor, rich, alone, together, doesn’t matter what race or human you are, as long if you add order to the chaos called ” life”.. happiness is something that can be achieved by anyone. Ofcourse life isn’t just rainbows and sunshine, but sometimes it is. And even if things are looking down for you, if you believe in yourself and have hope, you can get out of most situations stronger then before.

This is a subject where plenty of people wrote articles, books or give lectures about before me. Happiness has proven to be something alot of people desire; a feeling, a mind-set, what is the key to achieving this feeling, happiness. We have alot of things to worry about, and ofcourse I don’t speak for all of us humans.. but I think the majority of people can agree life isn’t easy. And something that seems like ”no worries” for one person can be the biggest issue in the world to someone else.

The world we life in

I’ve been thinking about ”reality” alot, the world, perception, mater, the mind.. And I came to the following theory: Our whole life, is made out of this countless strings of personal memories, feelings, opinions (based on those things), current mind-set, traumas, (ex) relationships, + the present. And those countless of strings are experienced different for every person, if you boil it down; we all life in another reality, another world. YOUR own world is basicly all in your mind. To not get myself in an existential crisis I tried to make sense of this and see where I could go from there; and this made me realise we are all in control of our own life. Regaining control of your own world, is one of the key steps to achieve a happy life. And it sounds cheesy, but you are the captain of your own ship, not just physicaly but also mentaly. But how do you do this?

Now again, every person is different so this might not be the thing for you, but this is my personal experience in gaining control over my own welfare and negative emotions. I used to be mad, with a strong opinion, sometimes jealous, and afraid of losing control over things I wanted to keep control of. And I never realy questioned why. WHY do I feel this negativity around me? what is the root of my behaviour? Looking at it from a different perspective made me see that I drag negative memories and feelings around me. put things in perspective. So I decided to turn those negative thoughts, in positive ones. Now, how do you make a positive thought out of being unhappy with your body? just broke up with your girlfriend who you had a toxic relationship with? or other situations that keep you from achieving ”happiness” . Well here’s how I turned litteraly every negative aspect of my life, in a positive one:

Keep learning, forever

Allways, learn. Take feedback, reflect on yourself and your actions, and ask yourself what YOU could do to make a difference in the outcome. And while doing this, don’t be to harsh for yourself, we’re not perfect.. we all make mistakes. And one way to make sure you wont make another mistake on top of that, is to learn from your mistakes. But be fair! (Sometimes there realy was nothing you could do about the situation. ) Being your own mentor and learning from yourself, always trying to learn makes you accept life isnt perfect and it helps you deal with alot of issues. This is my way of stressreduction ; knowing that I did, what I could.

Survival of the fittest most adaptive

Acceptance. Accept some things aren’t picture perfect or the way you imagined it. Embrace imperfection in order to achieve perfection. Every person lifes in thier own world, and some people might agree with you, and some people might disagree with you. Be honest to yourself and accept not every person has the same mind-set or thought like you do. Media en politics try to divide us, but in the end, it is YOUR world. And eventho some people disagree on alot of stuff, they might still be a cool guy to talk with. Judgement is something alot of people suffer from, and its judgement what keeps us divided. If you open your heart to those who do aswel and take control of your life you can create a beautiful world. A beautiful world for yourself…

want to continue reading? let me know in the comment section down below for part 2.

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